Humans are natural storytellers. Long before written languages were invented, humans told stories to make sense of our world, to keep people safe from harm. to connect with others, and to relive moments that matter.
Kids do this instinctively—on the playground, at the lunch table, and the minute they walk through the door saying, “You will not believe what happened!”
And yet, when those same students sit down to write a narrative story, the magic often disappears. Their stories turn into “and then . . . ” lists of events. Characters feel flat. Everything happens in one giant paragraph that starts with “One day…”
Ugh.
If humans are wired for storytelling, why does narrative writing feel so hard for so many 4th and 5th graders?
In this blog post, we’ll examine 4 common narrative writing mistakes that upper elementary and middle schoolers make and how to fix them.
Table of Contents
Narrative Writing Mistake #1: Boring Beginnings
This is probably one of my favorite narrative writing mistakes to solve. I love to take their actual writing pieces and then just read the first sentence of each story, then drop the paper upside down on the ground. That’s all. One sentence is all it takes. It always sounds like this . . .
One day a boy named Sam got lost.
Once there was a girl named Lily.
One day there was a kid named Bob.
Once upon a time there was a dog named Max.
After reading 20-30 first sentences, the kids usually get the picture and start to laugh at the repetition and lack of creativity.
Once they see, or rather hear, what I hear, we pull out different novels from my extensive classroom library and read just the first sentence of 20-30 books. Usually we’re sitting in a circle so we can pass the books around. As we read these mentor texts, I ask the class to call out the different strategies they noticed, so I can record the methods on an anchor chart.
We spend the next few minutes practicing writing each of the different story starter methods until we get the hang of it. If time permits, I might pass back their stories and ask them to rewrite their own story beginning, using one of the methods we practiced.
It’s a quick way to use a mentor text and it teaches students to read like a writer. For more information on using mentor texts in your own classroom, check out this blog post, then snag this FREE Mentor Text Teacher’s Guide when you sign up for my weekly newsletter.
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Narrative Writing Mistake #2: Dialogue Drama
Dialogue can be a little tricky to not only write, but write well, leading to a whole set of different problems.
PROBLEM #1: Students summarize what was said but never actually include dialogue at all.
It looks a little like this:
Sam asked her parents if she could go to the beach with her friends and her parents said yes.
SOLUTION #1: Carefully reread the writing piece and highlight any conversation summaries. Then, ask your students to become actors for the day and act out the scene. When done, the kids use sticky notes to jot down the lines of dialogue they said while acting.
SOLUTION #2: Encourage students to draw the scene out, then quickly add in speech bubbles. Later, those speech bubbles get turned into actual lines of dialogue.
SOLUTION #3: A few years ago, I purchased a few sets of Spark Sequencing cards to add to our Writer’s Lab. Each set of story cards includes 6 cards. Kids have to put the cards into the correct story sequence. From there, I ask my students to write 1 sticky note line of dialogue per card. Then they write the actual story, including the dialogue.
These Spark cards are brilliant because the kids don’t have to come up with the setting, characters, conflict, or plot. It’s right there on the cards. All they have to do is write out the story they see.
SOLUTION #4: Give your students a full story that doesn’t include any dialogue. Have your students highlight where they can or should add a conversation. Then they revise the story to add in those lines of dialogue. This lets the kids focus on one small skill without getting overwhelmed by creating an entire story on their own.
PROBLEM #2: The dialogue is boring and unnecessary.
SOLUTION: Sometimes students want to include small talk when writing dialogue. “Hi, how are you? How’s the family doing? Nice weather, right?” In writing, it’s not really necessary. We want to skip to the good stuff.
Have students write out their dialogue on sentence strips. Then physically cut off the boring or unnecessary parts, leaving only the vital parts of the conversation. This may seem harsh, but once kids can see and hear the difference this makes, their dialogue will slowly begin to improve.
PROBLEM #3: Students include a block of dialogue but don’t include any narration to break it up.
SOLUTION: This is a writing problem that I myself am prone to sometimes. We call this problem Talking Head Syndrome. It’s like having two heads floating out in space chatting it up. In my experience, Talking Head syndrome happens when the writer can “hear” the dialogue as it’s happening in their own imagination. You’re trying to capture every single word, but it’s going really fast.
Set a rule for your students to follow. Maybe they can only have 3 lines of pure dialogue before they have to add both an attribution tag and a narration tag to their dialogue. If kids are stuck on how to do this, have them add facial expressions or micro body gestures.
If you really want to have fun, give your class a short passage of pure dialogue. Just 3-5 lines. No setting details. No dialogue tags at all. Just pure dialogue.
Very quickly the class will realize that without the narration, the conversation won’t make sense, so it’s up to your students to revise this conversation to add the good stuff back in. They get to put in the character names, setting details, and context around the dialogue.
While your students are revising this passage, you should do it too. And be sure to save time for sharing out.
When I did this myself a few years ago, my story turned into a funny midnight caper between two elderly jewel thieves who wound up getting caught red-handed in a cemetery. The class thought it was hysterical.
As teacher, I love to see how vastly different the students’ stories turn out. It’s a really fun exercise in creativity that teaches students a valuable writing lesson.
PROBLEM #4: Dialogue tags are either non-existent OR randomly littering the entire paper.
SOLUTION #1: Chances are, your students aren’t fully recognizing dialogue when they read and therefore, have no idea where to place their quotation marks.
Here’s how I tackle this problem . . .
Select a short story to read to your class. It should be a story that has lots of dialogue and is one that all of your students can read along with. I’d recommend selecting a story from your ELA curriculum, phonics book, or leveled reader. If you’re doing a class novel study, you can use that text as well.
Then start reading the story aloud to your class. BUT when you get to a line of dialogue, your class must stand and read that part aloud. They start when they see the first quotation mark and stop (and sit) when they see the closing quotation mark.
This activity can be wildly funny as students pop up and down. At first, some students may read the dialogue tags aloud. Remind them that dialogue is only the part found inside the 2 quotation marks. Then keep reading.
As a side note, I recommend doing this activity a handful of times with different short texts. Once your kids get the hang of it, start calling attention to where the dialogue tag is placed within each sentence. Kids typically place dialogue tags at the end of a line of dialogue, but the tag can come at the beginning as well, or interrupt the dialogue.
Spend a little time noticing the punctuation differences with the dialogue tags, then practice writing a lines of dialogue that mimic each of the different speech tag placements.
You might find the activities below helpful in correcting these dialogue writing issues.
Narrative Writing Mistake #3: Summarizing The Story (AKA All Tell, No Show)
Has this ever happened to you?
After much brainstorming, plotting, and drafting, your students turn in a “story” that sounds suspiciously like a summary. There’s no dialogue at all and the plot is quickly explained.
The reader feels cheated. And you probably feel a mixture of frustration and failure. Where did you go wrong?
This is one huge narrative writing mistake that some of my 4th grade students are currently making.
What your students need, my friend, is my Boring Bob method of Show, Don’t Tell.
In essence, Boring Bob is a visual reminder to my students that every good story includes a main character who will see, hear, smell, taste, and touch things as they move and interact with their setting. The main character also talks to people, has important thoughts in their head, and feels strong emotions.
When we sit down to write a story, we purposely plan out the sensory details and how our main character will act or react in the story.
Here’s two quick activities to try.
Activity #1: Sensory Challenge
Collect or purchase wall calendars that show beautiful scenery or funny pets, etc. My mom used to keep all her old calendars (who knows why), so I inherited them when she died. Periodically I pick up new ones when they go on sale.
Now cut the calendars apart so that you have a variety of images to use. Hang the images around your classroom and challenge students to use their 5 senses to describe a setting of their choosing. Remind your kids to include those Boring Bob sensory details and character elements. Then share out with partners or the class.
Activity #2: Mr. or Ms. Potato Head Assessment
When students read their short story aloud to the class, use a Potato Head toy to track the use of sensory details.
When the main character hears something, add one ear.
Had a thought? Add a hat.
Touched or held something? Add an arm.
The first time you do this activity, model this with a writing piece you wrote or one from your curriculum. You don’t want to embarrass anyone.
When you get to the end of the story, notice what sensory details were skipped. No nose? What might your character smell during the story? Add that detail in.
After you model this for the class, partner kids up to read their own stories. While the author is reading, the listener draws a Potato Head and adds in details when they hear them. Or you can purchase this Digital Potato Head and assign it via a platform like Google Classroom.
It’s a really fun and visual way to assess a story and give immediate feedback.
Activity #3: Randomized Story Details
I really enjoy this particular activity and I hope your class will too.
While your students are quietly writing a narrative story, periodically you’ll ring a bell and shout out a specific type of detail or story element your kids have to add to their story right then and there.
I usually give my young writers about 5 minutes to start their story, then I start the challenge. “Hear! What does your character hear right now?” Everyone immediately adds a new detail in, then continues to write.
After 30 seconds to 2 minutes, I might call out, “Character Thought!” or “Weather detail!”
The whole goal of this activity is to force your students to add details to their story that they might otherwise forget to add. By keeping the time periods totally random, it makes the whole activity way more fun. It keeps everyone on their toes.
In a fun variation of this, you (or your students) can spin a physical or virtual game wheel that will randomly select the next detail to add. Or roll a die instead.
Narrative Writing Mistake #4: No Paragraph Breaks
Now this narrative writing mistake is an issue I’m currently tackling with my combo class 4th graders. Sure, they’ll spend a hour writing a delightful story, but there’s nary a paragraph break anywhere to be found.
It drives me nuts!
Here’s how I address this annoying issue.
Chances are really good that your students, like mine, have no idea when to switch to a new paragraph.
Think about it. For years they’ve been told that a paragraph must be between 3-8 sentences long. And at least a few of them aren’t counting sentences at all. They’re counting lines on the paper.
But we’re not writing an essay. We’re writing a narrative story and the rules are COMPLETELY different.
When I’ve talked to my elementary school colleagues about this issue, it turns out the teachers didn’t even know the narrative paragraphing rules, either.
So, what are the rules for how long a paragraph must be in a story? When do we switch to a new paragraph?
Let’s turn to a mentor text to help us figure this out.
For this mentor text lesson, I suggest revisiting all the narrative stories in your ELA curriculum. Challenge your class to identify what rules authors follow when deciding when to switch to a new paragraph. Spend time together really analyzing the paragraphs in each of these texts.
If you’ve done the dialogue activity from earlier, the one where kids stand to read only the dialogue out loud, your kids might have noticed that authors always switch to a new paragraph when someone new is speaking. They also tend to switch to a new paragraph (or scene) when they switch to a new setting location or a new time.
Record these findings in an anchor chart and have students add them to their own writing journals or notes.
For this particular writing issue, it takes a lot of time for kids to get the hang of writing in paragraphs because narrative is so different from all the other styles of writing. But the more you call attention to it in the texts you read, and the more you practice this skill during low-stakes writing activities, the faster your kids get it.
Conclusion
Narrative writing is hard—but not because kids aren’t storytellers. They absolutely are. What’s hard is translating the stories they can tell effortlessly out loud into written form. That’s not a flaw in your students. It’s a skill gap—and skill gaps can be taught.
When we look closely at common narrative writing mistakes or problems—boring beginnings, weak dialogue, endless summaries, or missing paragraphs—we start to see a pattern. Students aren’t lacking imagination. They’re lacking models, tools, and repeated opportunities to practice specific storytelling moves. Once those moves are named, modeled through mentor texts, and practiced in low-stakes ways, the writing starts to change.
There are no magic shortcuts here. Strong narrative writing develops over time through intentional instruction, lots of rereading like a writer, and plenty of chances to revise without pressure. But the good news? Small shifts—one craft move at a time—can make a big difference.
So lean on the stories you already love. Study how authors do the work. Break narrative writing into manageable pieces. And keep reminding yourself (and your students) that the storyteller is already there. Your job is simply to help them get those stories onto the page.
